We won't sleep together?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
