sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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