you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
