I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
