You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
