i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
