Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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