Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
