I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
