this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
soo... how was my night?
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