So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
