I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I will die if light touches me.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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