She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
