Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
