Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
