Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
MIDGETS
????
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
