Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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