Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
