last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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