Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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