that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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