apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize