So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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