once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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