You just made me feel so damn special
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
