Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just google imaged poop.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
