just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
