even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
