It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
