Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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