Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
