So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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