Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
