Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
