FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
