moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
