Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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