ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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