I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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