Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
