maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
