hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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