just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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