Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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