Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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