You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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