mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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