Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
