When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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