Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
