Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
