i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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