Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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