if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
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My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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