69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
