There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
