you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
