Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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