I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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