If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
