I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.