Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.