I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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