that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
