Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
