Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
