soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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