I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize