So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
