can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
