i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
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This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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