dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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